Conflicted: Danger From An Unstable Friend – What Would You Do?

The game BEFORE the SHTF!


Conflicted is a Survival Card Game.  Each card in the deck has a scenario that will stretch how you would respond in an SHTF situation.  What would you do?  Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!

SCENARIO – One of your friends became a problem that could put at risk the lives of the entire group, including your family. Your friend won’t stop his reckless behavior and refuses to be thrown out of the group since he contributed to it and his wife and children have nowhere to go.  He has lost it and now he is putting the entire group at risk, but no one has the heart to deal with this but you. You tried to have a serious conversation, but that still didn’t work.  How would you handle this situation and why?

Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments below.

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Todd Sepulveda

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15 thoughts on “Conflicted: Danger From An Unstable Friend – What Would You Do?

  1. Chris

    #1-He’s gone. He put his family in jeopardy of losing everthing not you. Those in the group who” don’t have the heart to deal with it” need to put on their big boy drawls and help deal with it!

  2. benjammin

    The easy answer I suppose is that the two of us go out into the woods for a long patrol, and only one of us comes back.

    Realistically, we are more likely facing some form of detention and group counseling. The person is part of the group because they were considered an unexpendable asset, so it is only prudent to do all that can be done to redeem them. In addition, they would be someone we cared deeply for, or we would never have brought them into the group in the first place.

    You do what you have to do to get this person under control. You exercise patience of Job to get this person to come around. If you can’t afford this sort of action, then you were unprepared yourself, and the group is likely non-functional anyways. God be with you then.

    This is why it is so important to vet potential group members. Every member must acquire a tribal mentality if the group is to survive. Vetting is a process that takes time, effort and a solid understanding that members are so bonded they would die for each other. That doesn’t come easy, but it is the only way. Otherwise, you are just functioning on association, and that is not a good basis for any group.

    Watch the movie Young Guns. “It ain’t easy having pals.”

  3. Robinson

    How was he talked to. Was he ordered to straighten up and fly right. In lights out by David Crawford gunny tells Mark about Jon “by not making him look and feel so wrong. Once he’d alienated everyone, he could only see one way out. If we’d try to make him part of the solution instead of the problem, things might have worked out differently. That’s what politics is. Making everyone feel they are part of the team and that what they say carries at least a little weight.”

  4. Dare

    This is tricky. I would advise this man and his family be bound, and gagged. Then I would separate out from the preps whatever they contributed. Then gather the entire group together. I would read a prepared statement made by the ruling council that this man and his family will need to be separated from the group and put out on their own, because his behavior is endangering everyone. Spell out everything he has done to compromised the group’s survival and his family’s survival, but make it clear, the meeting is not to debate whether they stay or go – that decision has already been made. I would then give his family members the opportunity to stay, knowing full well they would be separated from him. I would tell them this will be their only opportunity to save themselves and separate from this man.
    Then, I would blindfold him and those members of his family who choose to stay with him, place them in a vehicle, drive around to disorient them, go as far away as feasible (without using too much fuel) and dump them and their goods in a predetermined remote area, well scouted by others, but known to be unfamiliar to him or his family. If such a place could not be pre-determined, then remove them at night. They would have to make camp and wait for light to shine before doing anything else and that buys the control group time to cover their tracks. Before leaving to take them to the dump site, I would tell them if any try to escape, call attention to themselves or cause trouble, they will be summarily “dealt with.” Once their destination is reached, I would untie the youngest family member capable of untying their parents, then drive away. I would leave them with a warning of not trying to track back to the group because if we ever see them again, they will be “dealt with.” Tell them this solution was the only one they came with that would show him some mercy and spare him short of death, and spare his family his death, but he had become such a problem we had considered eliminating him. It was either his death or separation and removal. “We chose to spare you, but will not hesitate to eliminate you if we ever see you again.

  5. Jerry Freeman

    That would be a very bad thing. Worst case scenario, I would put him in restraints, blind fold,and deliver him to a remote location with all of his gear, and a few months provisions. Of course I would give his family the choice of going with him, or staying with the group. I would not kill him. That is unless he was trying to hurt or kill another member of the group.

  6. W H Miller

    This situation should have been addressed as part of the planning stage prior to the formation of the group.
    This problem as well as others that directly effect the security of the group should be openly discussed with the ultimate goal being a set of rules agreed to by the group as a whole. A pre-set structure covering the “Does and Don’ts” with clearly defined guidelines and procedures in the event of a violation.

  7. Dave Dennis

    Lets assume your prep group has rules and laws in place, if it doesn’t you’re going to have chaos, but lets assume all are aware of the rules, if your friend is willing to break the rules, willing to put others at risk, then they get tried by the group or its leaders as though they’ve committed a crime, and punishments get decided, up to and including death. The scenario doesnt say what the friend did, only that it endangers the lives of the group, i think the severity of what he did determines my action. If thats not an option, then i’d have no problem giving his family the option of staying without him, or leaving with him, him and his family would be blindfolded , and dropped off on the side of the road 50 to 100 miles from camp, if they return with ill intent thats the end of them.

    1. Raymond Dean White

      I agree, but think that if he’s found guilty at trial he should be executed as an example to others that community laws are to be taken seriously. His family would then be given the option to stay or leave with a fair share of supplies.

      1. Chaplain Tim

        This is a perfect example of why there has to be bylaws and community rules with offenses and punishment guidelines drawn out in advance. On the agreement to join the community they must receive a copy of the community rules and regulations and be in total agreement with then and sign a membership form stating they agree and will comply before being accepted. If the violation is in any way a gray area then an immediate trial should be held with a majority vote on how to proceed. But obviously endangering the lives of ANY community members must be dealt with swiftly and to set an example so others see the offense will never be tolerated.

  8. Western-team

    Wow, this hits close to home. We have a family in the group whose father (Dad) is a highly valued member ( 20 years younger than most of us and prior service with many skills), daughter is a good shot and wife (Mom) has recently slipped into the depths of alcoholism driven by childhood abuse (and other character flaws). When sober, Mom is an asset as a good kitchen and sanitary staffer. Despite ‘quitting’ several times, she hasn’t overcome it. Daughter is angry with Mom. Dad is about fed up with Mom, but stands by his vows for now. We are wrestling with losing two contributing members due to one we just can’t trust to be an asset to the group. (Will she bargain away our info for booze, will she find and sneak the medicinal alcohol, replacing it with water, will she steal pills from med stores to get high if she can’t get drunk, etc..) With the NK threat, this is becoming more urgent an issue to resolve. This post and the responses are very helpful in our real-life pre-SHTF decision-making.

  9. Dan

    The persons behaviour is a symptom (effect) not the problem. If you only you only treat the symptom the problem will reoccur. You must find what caused the symptom and cure that and the problem won’t reoccur. Finding out why is the first step to the solution and you have the cause.
    The effect is Joe putting the entire group in jeopardy. The cause is six months ago Bill, the leader, orally humiliated Joe in a hostile manner in front of the group. Bill has done this to others as well.
    Bill’s actions are the cause and must be dealt with or more effects will occur.

  10. Citizensfirstgovermentlast

    This is easy part of prepping is to have a plan(b or number next one) we all need to have away to survive without the group. Again WE AL NEED A PLANE TO SURVIVE WITHOUT THE GROUP!!!!!!!!!! We must think about that possible terrible day the group is attacked and it’s over run. We all must be ready to run and the family must have a rally point then on to the group rally spot.
    If this friend is going to compromise the group then it may be time to live the group and go on a long patrol this will give you and your family time to work out if and or when you come back. This is not running away it is family first and must be used after all else has failed..
    Now I will be a nomad and be moving around in a larger area this works untill age and or health slows me down and I have to rely on the fabric of humanity reweaving but without banks only barter no taxes and fees for living.
    Thanks for listening

  11. BeggarMidas

    Your scenario doesn’t include some important conditional modifiers. I’ll address a few top contenders(based on probabilities, and some personal experience). This still falls under applying your OODA(Observe, Orient, Decide, Act)
    1) Look at that face you shave every morning in the mirror. Ask your reflection(seriously, do this to yourself in the mirror, it helps you step out of your own head, a little) if the the problem is YOU? Part of the weight of being an CO is having to ruthlessly interrogate your own feelings and frustrations, leaving your pride and ego out of it. Talk it over with your XO. If problem child IS your XO, talk it over with another rank officer, preferably one who keeps a level head and a tight lip.
    2) How long have you both on point active duty? Have you both been getting enough calories daily? How about sleep? Have any sorties gone off the rails recently? Is it possible what you’re seeing is a symptom of nutritional deficiency, PTSD, guilt-projection, depression, or home issues?
    3) Is it possible the behavior is emerging because he’s decided you’re an idiot, and he wants your stripes? Behavior like this can sometimes be indicative of a forming mutiny in the ranks. Though more likely he’s probably goading you into a fight on HIS terms because he’s bucking for rank. In this scenario I suggest you have him take point hunting, unless you want to catch some lethal friendly fire.
    –To be continued later today. Duty calls.

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